Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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