He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
