they need to just BURY HIM!
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
