u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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