I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
