All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
