I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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