I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
