my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Randomize
