I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He kissed a someone with a penis
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize