Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
