The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
