Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
