i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
