We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
