Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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