Your tits are I can't wait for
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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