You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize