I bet he comes in French.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
