Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
3pm strippers are depressing
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
