so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
