Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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