Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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