we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
3pm strippers are depressing
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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