i already hear my dad disowning me
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
