i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
