don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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