How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
