There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
