Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
