No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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