can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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