I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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