quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
