Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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