There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
