In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
