I'm pants shitting drunk right now
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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