i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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