I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
