HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
