Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
