my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
