i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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