will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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