I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
