If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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