Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
