Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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