Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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