I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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