Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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