we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
