You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
