Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
