i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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